Thoughts while doing puzzles *google translate says it's called jigsaw but when I google that some seriously disturbing pictures show up*

Well this should be easy
Wait I got one
Nope too small
Maybe this is some sorta methaphor for life... like sometimes you match and sometimes you don't and we all just keep looking
Where the fuck is that fucking blue piece
Honestly this is a waste of time
I'M NOT GONNA LET A BROKEN PIECE OF CARDBOARD DEFEAT ME
who even makes puzzles with sky in them do I look like I can tell 40 shades of blue apart
Maybe this is how people become serial killers, maybe they weren't insane, they were just doing puzzles
Wait I know exactly what piece I need here
WHERE DID I PUT IT
I bet there's some sort of a gap in space where socks and puzzle pieces go when no one's looking
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW
I SHOULD WRITE A BOOK
THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS
Oh there it is
There goes my career as the glorious whistleblower of the universe's greatest secrets
Whatever I'll just write a Star Trek script
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T FIT I'LL MAKE YOU FIT
HOLY SHIT ONLY ONE PIECE LEFT
of course it's missing
Why is it always the last piece that's missing
Wait that was a stupid thought
Glad I didn't blog that
Is there even a graceful way to search for a puzzle piece on the carpet at two am
OMFG I FOUND IT
MYYY TREASURRREE
now let's try it blindfolded

Things I don't understand about Germany

1. Why do you always talk about the weather? It's just as rainy and disgusting as it was yesterday, so we're both wasting our time keeping this awkward conversation going
2. Sausage salad. Wtf.
3. Why do hang up giant pictures of asparagus?
4. Garden decorations. What aspect of you does this 1.5 m tall pink mushroom represent?*
5. Shops that sell useless stuff for you to a) put on your bathroom shelf and stare at every morning while taking a shit or b) buy as a gift for someone you don't really care about, wrap in ugly polka-dot paper and bring to their party with the bad music where you'll get drunk from free drinks. And the women who shop there are always called Birgit or Sara and they shout out in excitement when they see another kitten-shaped toilet paper holder that was produced by children in China. Maybe someday all the singing plastic flowers and puppy handkerchiefs and citchy mugs saying I ♡grandma will rise and turn against their creators, founding a new civilization of lameness and bad taste, killing all the rare pepes and replacing them with minions, and then we'll realize with disgust what we have done to this planet.
Admittedly, I might be a little sensitive on this subject
#SaveRarePepes
#RealMemes
#RealBeauty

*actually don't answer that^^

Kids you meet at every school

1. The loud and obnoxious and annoying one who is probably sexist and always popular
2. The one who is also loud and obnoxious, but happens to be semi-attractive so you try to look past the rest
3. The responsible one that you all kinda know will be going places someday but for now you can copy their homework
4. The quiet one who wears a lot of hoodies and is into fantasy books
5. Usually a girl who wears leggings and gives you that irritated look usually reserved for people who wear their underwear over or as clothing *looking at you cartoon superheroes*. Or her face is just stuck that way because she went out with wet hair
5. The rich one who dresses like a mom who's really into golf
6. You really had no idea that was her chair but from now on she looks at you as if you insulted her pet iguana and they secretly plot to get revenge
10. The one who wears capri jeans
11. The one who dresses like they take fahion advice from Räuber Hotzenplotz (a german book character known for smoking tobacco and kidnapping grandmas, who might be better at growing a beard than me but has not quite reached my elegant and graceful clothing style)
                         

Hey*

I lived in Belgrade for nearly 8 years now, and during that time, I've grown and matured a lot huehuehue *strokes beard* *why don't I have a beard*. So here are some things the city, the people I met and Mr Rogers have taught me

1. To be open to everything and everyone, whatever prejudices you may have
2. That seatbelts are generally overrated
3. "eh" is a legitimate way to start a conversation
4. if you go out with wet hair your face will be stuck in all kinds of bizarre grimaces forever
5. that sometimes, a middle finger is worth at thousand words
6. to confront people about an issue
7. to never owe a person too much or they could use it against you
8. that everyone has their story and background
9. dishes and doctor appointments are only to be made in the darkest of times

*as you can tell I have mastered the difficult technique of catchy, clickbait-y titles almost to perfection

things you can say about a dress that you can't say about a baby

-oh yeah just found it in the back of my closet
-can I borrow it?
-I especially like the bottom
-where was it made?
-well there's pictures of me with it so I have to get a new one

I really don't know why I made this list, I'm sick and my Whatsapp isn't working.

PREJZ DE LOARD

stages of a friendship

So Milena and I talked about this recently and I thought of some more
1. Talking in class
2. Copying homework
3. Making each other laugh
4. Talking about other stuff than school
5. Gossiping
6. Nicknames
7. Dissing/teasing
8. Random or weird humor
9. Hanging out outside of school
10. Telling them your crush
11. Sleepovers
12. Having inside jokes
13. Having a song
14. Stop being polite
15. Stop judging
16. Talking about deep stuff
17. Knowing each other for atleast a year
18. Disagreeing without fighting
19. Going through “hard times“ together
20. Silences that aren't awkward anymore
21. Knowing how they really think
22. Not playing truth or dare anymore because you already know most of it
23. Telling a really big secret
24. Planning the future
25. What is your friendship goal? *buzzfeed voice*

what to do when you're bored (part two-ish)

#. Print out a picture of a person you hate. Recreate a how to basic video with it.
€. Build an army out of playmobil and attack your enemies. Shout “freedom for the little people“ in a high pitch voice
¤. Dress up as your recently used emojis.
¥. Go grocery shopping. Ask the cashier if they accept galleons.
©. Whenever someone calls you, insist on them to talk to your pet first. Feel free to make one up and imitate its sounds.
†. Ask pedestrians to take a picture of you. Then run.
¿. Thank your mailman for always being so discrete when delivering the dynamite.
@. Tell random people on the street how to cook your favorite food. Ask trick questions to see if they remembered it correctly.
%. Draw dicks on childrens' toys
$. Greet a stranger and tell them how nice it is to see you again, Hugo. Talk about the good old times
×. Practice an irritating voice or accent. Use it when talking to your neighbor.
£. Play dramatic music on your phone when entering a room.

Sorry for not posting anything for so long. There's no good excuse I just didn't feel like it.
😠😱💩👻🌈🎓🎭

fun stuff to do on the internet (social network edition-ish)

1. Get an emo-profile, for example on ask, similar to this one http://ask.fm/stargirl799 *ee milena look how supportive I am*

2. start a discussion in a comment section (if you wanna get fancy, drop the words feminazi or twilight)

3. read a discussion in a comment section

4. worship satan

5. go on omegle and talk to strangers

6. listen to the potato song

7. read the comments underneath the potato song

8. click on the links where you can get the 10000 dollars those nice gentlemen on gmail are willing to share with you

9. visit the angry side of tumblr

10. creepily stalk a celebrity

11. try to find your crush's house on googlemaps 

12. go on elementgirls.com #swagforlyf

13. teach the akinator to accept your fictional character crush 

or, you could just google pictures of funny cats like the rest of the world

my favorite webpages

Hey, I figured since I waste a lot of my time on the internet, I might as well kill your social lives. These do not include social media, there will be a different post about those.

www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com
zoomquilt.com
eelslap.com
zombiepassions.com
godhatesshrimp.com
http://heyyeyaaeyaaaeyaeyaa.com/
http://ask.fm/louise013 (I have no shame)

If this were a post, it would be too short. Fortunately, it's a pool table.

I am not gonna use apostrophes here this keyboard is evil

heeey its my moms birthday today so Im allowed to ditch the first hours of school. Next week Im going to Bielefeld *insert conspiracy theory here* and Im going to visit a school and look what the teachers are like. I think this is gonna be a post about how to make everydays life better since a lot of my frineds are sad lately

1. Find little ways of protesting against things you dont like. For example, when I disagree with our teacher or just think the topic is boring, I write shit in my text book backwards which not only is a totally genious way to rebel against the deceitful education system but also prevents me from understanding anything later so its impossible for the government to brainwash me
2. Generally have a dirty mind I swear things are way more fun (696969 hehehehehehe)
3. Have an alter ego and introduce it to everyone. (Hello, my name is Bob. What do think about rhinoceroses?)
4. Learn how to tapdance and practice in the most inappropriate situations
5. Have a really good frined with whom you have many inside jokes
6. Have a really good enemy with whom you can have epic dissfights
7. Climb a tree it is oddly satisfying
8. When you really have to do something, atleast do it in the weirdest way possible
9. Try to look at your room from angles you have never seen it before

Anyways, I wish the best to everyone who is sad right now. I know it sucks, but things are gonna be better and youll get through this.
Whoa this is getting deep someone make an immature joke.
PENIS HEHEHEHEHEHE
Thanks Bob.

I AM MAD
BECAUSE BLOGGER ALWAYS UNDERLINES MY LAST WORD WHICH ANNOYS THE FUCK OUT OF MY INNER PERFECTIONIST

Oh, Alcatraz, thou art awesomish and manlyish

turns out we still have technology class for about two weeks, although the new semester already started. well I'm not complaining the teacher let's us do whatever we want because we don't get grades anymore, so I'm spending my time very productively googling my fictional character crush and trying to learn how to moonwalk by watching the videos on mute. today we had to do some kind of interview and we talked about tourism in North Korea ("so how's life in N.K.?" "well I can't complain." "and how is the tourism going right now?" "you could say it booms").

OkAy so I just went on my statistics to check my views and stuff and I have shocking news:
ONE OF YOU USES BING.
BING.
B I N G.
I am afraid I can't allow you to visit this page anymore and hang out with the cool kids who get spied on (I am so gangsta I use the passive form even though you're supposed to avoid it #swag) by the nsa. go away and be ashamed of yourself. and only return when you've learned your lesson.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

HAHAHAHAHAHA
GUESS WHAT
WE JUST HAD P.E.
AND IT WAS SO FUCKING EXHAUSTING
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I'M LAUGHING SO MY BRAIN THINKS I'M HAPPY
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I AM LITERALLY THE SWEATING LAUGHING EMOJI RIGHT NOW
ALSO IT'S MY LAST TECHNOLOGY CLASS EVER
AND THEY'RE PLAYING "SHAKE IT OFF"
I JUST TYPED IN PART OF THE LYRICS
BECAUSE I CAN'T LISTEN AND TYPE AT THE SAME TIME
EVERYTHING SOUNDS DRAMATIC WHEN YOU TYPE IT IN CAPSLOCK
TODAY I HAVE TO DO LAUNDRY DUNDUNDUUUUN
MY SOCKS DON'T MATCH TODAY DUNDUNDUUUN
I DON'T LIKE STRAWBERRY ICECREAM DUNDUNDUUUN
IT'S COLD OUTSIDE DUNDUNDUUUN

IT SMELLS LIKE PANCAKES
PANCAKESSSSSS
P A N C A K E S
I SHOULD'NT BLOGG WHEN I'M HUNGRY
I AM GONNA GO NOW
TO STALK PEOPLE
BYE

Möp

I just spent 5 minutes on the title because I'm a perfectionist and my tablet wouldn't let me spell ö so I first tried to programm it to accept that letter and when that didn't work out since I'm super bad with technology I googled hoelle, then went on a wikipedia article for “Hölle“ (hell) then copy- pasted it here, deleted everything but that specific letter and typed in the rest of the word. Anyways, I'm really happy because on friday milena and I are gonna visit Marta wait what one of the suggestions for Marta was Möhre (carott) oh now you can spell it now you can huh????? I hate you autoerrect autoerrect AUTOERRECT ah go fuck yourself.

Here are some nice pictures that came up as results when I googled hell:

School looks nice these days doesn't it

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Google just asked me “did you mean Helene Fischer ?“

some deep shit

Do you know that moment when you suddenly realize how weird it is that you are you and you're living on a blue planet in a galaxy full of stars who look down on you from the sky and you're listening to that song that seems to be part of your soul and you just feel like nothing matters? And you think about all the other people who live in their own worlds and thoughts and dreams and what a coincidence it is that of all those people, you are yourself, and the stars are shining for you.
I want cheesecake

aaayyyy guys this is my first post in 2015 also my autocorrect is going wild

Yoo how are you. I was busy doing important stuff (like playing sims 10 hours straight hehe) so I didn't post anything. Someone from USA visits my Blog regularly and if it's who I think it is this is really awkward so please stop visiting my Blog because this is really awkward so please stop visiting my Blog because this is really awkward so please stop visiting my Blog or i'll continue with this. I had to go because I totally forgot I wanted to hang out with Milena and let her freeze in the cold for 20 minutes, but now I'm baack. My birthday is in 25 days I'm turning 14. 14 you guys that's so old. I think imma make a list of things that were cool in 2001 so you can see how old I am
1. walkmans (or is it walkmen? those things are so old that people don't even now their plural form)
2. bandanas. fucking bandanas
3.chat rooms
4. Rebecca Black. I am not even kidding
4.pearl and shell necklaces
5. bootcut jeans
6. the gilmore girls (actually they're still cool)
7. choker necklaces
8. blue eyeshadow
.
and this was stylish


that's how old I am