Analyzing my dreams using biblical interpretation of symbolism and some creative bullshitting

yeah you heard me.

#1 I had this one dream that I was a prostitute in Berlin and I was on a balcony wearing a sparkly blue dress. “whoredom“, as biblegateway.com so charmingly puts it, means spiritual idolatry and false doctrines  but apparently the color blue represents  authority or the holy spirit. So yah maybe I'm a woman of questionable character but I'm also a bossy prostitute saint and should probably reconsider my career plans.
 Also I dreamt that the joker made a bunch of kids shoot me in the head, which is a symbol of Christ's headship. A serial killer means an evil spirit, so Heath Ledger is basically a demon coming after what's left of my good cristian values. You heard it here first.

#2 I also had this dream that I opened my chapstick and there were a bunch of worms inside??? Worms mean “an instrument of judgment“ so I guess I am being judged for my cosmetic habits?? Rude

#3 One time I had a nightmare that a flying bald guy was kidnapping me and laughing hysterically. So baldness apparently means losing gods protection but laughter represents the joy of the lord so I guess God is leaving me & happy about it? Unsurprising after reading this post tbh.

But also according to christiandreamsymbols.com homosexuality means “a spirit of perversion“ so honestly I don't feel guilty for this post.

Comment if you want me to analyze your dreams I am clearly an expert

Summer in Bielefeld gothic

Summer in Bielefeld occurs on a wednesday this year. The native Bielefelder's skin tans to varying shades of gray and pink, like an asexual pride flag.
Standing in the shower, you briefly wonder how many layers of your leg you have lost due to shaving. It will take two more  months until instagrams feminists will start posting leg hair pictures captioned “tired of shaving“. You sigh and continue. You have been tired of shaving since age twelve.
The fans in downtown shops rotate monotonously like the fidget spinners in your classmates' hands. Your friend is drunk. You briefly wonder how she managed to get drunk off gurkenwasser, but don't check the ingredients. No one does.
The same lana del rey songs that depressed you in february now give you a false sense of carelessness that soon dies as you are faced with the ruthless amounts of homeworks your teachers give. End of the year group projects take their fatale toll on your friendships. You drink gurkenwasser to forget.  

!!!!

WELL MILENA I AM NOT PLAYING THIS GAME HAVE A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE VINTAGE MEME INSTEAD HOE

<3 but yeah I miss it too

Past me starter packs

1. age four:
- a dress layered over bootcut leggings because why limit yourself
- UND EWIG FLIEHT DER EDUARD ffs jdjshhadga
- the bob haircut my mom gave us all

2. Age seven:
- braids
- hiding under tables with shitty fantasy books
- red dresses and green tights because I liked to just stand in the garden and pretend I was a flower
-a generally anti-social attitude

3. Age ten:
- THE BLUE VELVET CARDIGAN OMG
- pigtails because my dad couldn't braid
- a toothgap wide enough to be considered the official gate to hell
- elementgirls.de

4. Age 12
- “oh no you hurt your arm let me see if I can find some fucking healing herbs in the school yard brb“
- unironically listening to Katy Perry
- secretly applying blue eyeshadow
- ask.fm

5. Age thirteen
- tEenAge reBEl
- sneaking out of school to buy icecream
- “what is a hairbrush“
- green day omg
- also this blog aww

6. Age fourteen
- plaid button ups
- immature jokes
- chipped black nail polish
- lana del rey

7. Age fifteen
- “yah that's my natural hair texture why do you ask“
- drawing on peoples wrists
- librarian buns

8. Age sixteen:
- finally accepting my Waldorf heritage and wearing Grundfarben with pride
- floral dresses idk
- lots of art supplies
- communist jokes

Only a week left

Ayy I'm still in the US but I'm leaving in about a week and I can already feel the existential anguish that overcomes me everytime I look in the general direction of my math book. Not much is going on here, my family is really sweet and I've actually made a few friends. Shoutout to german elementary school english teachers who teach you that "rubber" means eraser, it makes for a great conversation starter when your fellow exchange student friend asks the guy next to you for a condom.
Also tomorrow is Saint Patrick's Day and I have nothing green to wear. I guess I could paint my nails green but then I'd look like Hexe Lisbeth from that one weird german children's book.
And I have a physics test tomorrow and I really don't know how diffraction grating calculations work help

oddly specific talents I have

-are you looking for someone to draw black and white portraits of conventionally attractive women aged 15 to 25? You've come to the right place

-Do you need to learn how to make german children songs sound like they are being played on a bamboo flute, but you only know how to play the piano? Give me a call and I'll see if I can make time for you.

-Do you need to paint intricate henna inspired flower designs on wood, paper or cardboard surfaces? I'm your girl

-Want someone who can perfectly imitate a suburban white girl ordering a pumpkin spice latte? I've got years of experience.

-have a presentation for school and need an overly detailed but beautiful slightly Greek looking headline? You can count on me

-procrastinated on a group project and looking for someone who will finish everything in one evening and only be mildly passive aggressive about it the next day? Got your back

-Want to learn terrible pickup lines in three different languages? Give me your number and I'll see what I can do for you

-Need someone to intensely and shamelessly stalk your crush for you? Sign me the fuck up.

Honestly just hire me already

USA impressions so far

So I've been in the US for almost two weeks now and I've had Lucky Charms and Reeses Peanutbutter Cups so that basically makes me an expert on american culture and definitely qualified to makes this post
-people actually wear their baseball jackets around school constantly. Unfortunately this is as close to Highschool Musical as it gets and I have not witnessed any spontaneous flashmobs
-border security needs to chill
-couples holding hands in the hallway keep blocking my way to class would you leave some space for jesus please
-llama club is a very exclusive and serious club and membership requires a sense for responsibilty and integrity, meaning I am completely unsuitable. and why yes you are expected to rise when the official llama club anthem plays.
-a teacher asked me if I had a bomb shelter so there's that
-also we watched a video on duck and cover. So in case of a nuclear attack I know how to duck and cover under the nearest table which will obviously be 100 percent effective in protecting me from radiation.
-on a scale of one to goshen highschool cafeteria cookies how much is your life falling apart