brussel sprouts

I feel like it is my duty to warn the entire world (or atleast the 3 people who visit my blog). a terrible, disgusting curse lies over this planet. a single group of living beings, threatening to end all our lives. brussel sprouts. they are proof of satans existence. brussel sprouts, the most despicable, repulsive thing this world has to offer, even worse than rebecca black. even worse than rebecca black. I know, some of you might have a hard time imagining such horror, but trust me. I've seen it, I've tasted it.I completely fail at describing my disgust. not even in the darkest nightmares anyone could imagine something like this. whoever you are, I beg you to follow my advice and to avoid any contact with brussel sprouts.

brussel sprouts in their brilliant disguise as innocent vegetables

a tribute to narwhals and their awesomeness

narwhals, narwhals
swimming in the ocean
causing a commotion
coz they are so awesome
narwhals, narwhals
swimming in the ocean
pretty big and pretty white
they beat a polar bear in a fight
like an underwater unicorn
they've got a kick-ass facial horn
they're the Jedi of the sea
they stop Cthulu eating ye
narwhals, they are narwhals
narwhals... just don't let them touch your balls

how to say fuck you in different languages (according to google translate)

german:
fick dich

serbian:
jebi se

french:
vas te faire encule

hmong:
fuck koj

yoruba:
fokii o

norwegian:
knulle deg

latin:
confutuere te

italian:
vaffanculo

clingon:
ptah teu

girl:
fine

teacher:
Well that was an interesting presentation

how to be in a good mood

step one:
watch any of the following youtube videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9wOuSyralQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRC4Vk6kisY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykwqXuMPsoc

step two:
prank call someone, for example a pizza service. here are some ideas for what to say:
ask them to put the pizza topping below
ask if you can rent a pizza
psychoanalize them
quote shakespeare
tell them all your worries (they make great agony aunts)

step three:
call a frined. your frined will be especially pleased if you call early in the morning or very late at night. their reactions are usually excellent entertainment.

step four:
listen to your favorite song

step five:
watch your favorite movie

step six:
talk to strangers on the road or pretend to interview them. have  imaginary cameras and microphones ready

step seven:
pretend to be a secret agent. shoot with bananaguns at people

step eight:
read calvin and hobbes comics

step nine:
learn how to insult people in rarely used languages, for example hmong, igbu, yoruba or zulu

step ten:
write a punny wikihow article about a topic you're not familiar with

step eleven:
think of all the poor, newborn souls out there whose parents are naming them Ludolf right now

guys I got braces and it hurts af this is propably gonna be a post about me complaining. au aua aua aua. also ppl be creeping over my shoulder and staring at what I type. Fuck off. Oh now she turned away and acts all offened hey it's not my fault you're a stalker. it's Christmas soon (yeah I'm good at stating the obvious) and I'm so glad the holidays are starting. Everyone here in T.C is just on Google translate making it say insults. sooooooo immature *hehehehe it's not like I'm on mylittlepony-fanpage.com*also my frined milena isn't here so I have no one to annoy. Imma try to blogg more often during the holidays to distract me from the tons of homework the teachers gave us #denialchamp
I think my brother knows I have this Blog because I forgot to delete my history and he had that amused, slightly arrogant smile. Fuck you Lukas. hctib ti pots niaga gnipeerc si ehs °
Also did you know that I have ask *shamelessly self-advertising*
http://ask.fm/louise013






°read this backwards

calvin and hobbes

Stages of a sleepover

So my friends and I had this cool sleepover because Marta visited Belgrade. I can only speak for girls but most our sleepovers follow this schedule:

The awkward phase
Where you greet the parents and stuff

Food

The anti-social phase
When everyone's on their phones

Music

Gossiping

Memories

Truth or dare
Which is pointless in our case because we already know everything about each other and no one chooses dare

The phase when everyone starts hitting on each other and makes perverted jokes

The weird phase
Where everyone makes bizarre noises then laughs hysterically

The highly philosophical phase
My personal favorite, when you just get really deep and shit (usually late at night)

The phase when you just sing random songs

The creepy phase
When someone tells a horror storie and everyone just freaks out and is scared as hell

The really creepy phase
When you realize your brother has been listening to you all the time

The phase when one person is trying to sleep and the other ones still talk and that one person gets all mad

Actual sleep

several pictures of animals with random items on their head

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

heeeeeey i don't really have an inspiration for this post but that never stopped me anyways

boring stuff about technology class and some pictures of Legolas

turns out 69 was actually surprisingly often the right answer. i'm basically just googling pictures of Legolas and then fangirl all over the place. uuuh the teacher caught milena next to me on 9gag gotta be careful. okay how the fuck did I end up on my-little-pony-fanpage.com I have no clue how this happened. i don't know what to write so here are some pictures of Legolas

I really had to share this picture with you

                                                   

hahaha a i just finished some weird competion in technology class i guess i lost i just typed 69 everywhere

so i guess i'm bored

i think imma give you a name because i give everything names . imma call you brittany which is the stoopidest name i could think of right now also i wrote stoopid because i like the way it looks that dot after the first sentence looks lonely so here. are. some .friends. for. you. i know you don't want to hear this but i always wondered how guys wear pants like...^^? and now i'm gonna change the subject really fast because right now it's disgusting and i do not want to think about this so umm the weather is nice i guess...? I'm planning my funeral it is way more fun than it sounds

I told you imma do this post

Top foods:

1. Pancakes you knew this was gonna be here come on
5. Spaghetti with tomato sauce my mom used to make them every Wednesday when a friend came over
2. Anything you colored blue with food colors
2. Wackelpudding I don't think there's an english word for that but it's fabulous
5. After eight you know the ones with dark chocolate and peppermint
6.French toast do I even have to explain something
5. Mince pies that is a british sweet with cinnamon and peppermint and raisins
5. Mousse au chocolat
9. Sarma it's usually not vegetarian but still delicious
5. Oreos
XIV. The first thing you ever cooked yourself
12. Anything you eat at a sleepover because it tastes like memories
13. French nougat
12. Zuckerwatte
15. Potatoes
VII. Tomato soup
13. Anything you eat after a long day of work/school
27. Sushi

wisdom might come from unexpected places

The worst enemies are the ones who do not need hope.
-Bernd the bread


Friends are important.
-Peppa pig


A little thought for others makes all the difference.
-Winnie the Pooh


No matter what our differences are, we're all ponies.
-My little pony


Pancakes are awesome, but they're even better with maple sirup.
-Winx

Sorry if this a short and boring post I just felt like it

Hey guys
I'm in Bielefeld visiting old friends and looking at a few schools. It's really weird to be here again and see all those people I've been with and places I used to go to. It's nice here, but I don't really feel at home anymore. Anyways, I'll try to take some pictures to finally prove to my friends that this city exists. Tomorrow I'll go to my old school...
Byee

Facts about me pedosmiley

1. My sign is Aquarius
2. That means I was born in January
3. My favorite author is Brandon Sanderson
4. I love blue
5. And pancakes
6. And Oreos
7. This is slowly turning into a top- foods post* I should stop
8. I am pretty narcissistic and arrogant
9. Sometimes I misspell my own name
10. My sister disses me
11. She's seven
12. I am really clever (see what I meant with number 8?)
13. I can't do group projects because I'm just bossing people around and never accept their ideas because I KNOW mine are better
14. I'm still hoping for my letter from Hogwarts
15. I'm not really religious
16. I'm from Bielefeld which is a small town in Germany
17. My left foot is called Jonny
18. I love the Beatles
19. I love being in the car at night with my family when it's raining outside but inside it's warm and nice and you look out of the window and Beatles music comes on
20. My friend says my aura is dark blue
21. I'm a vegetarian
22. I'd like to become a scientist when I grow up in case Hogwarts doesn't work out
23. I don't understand patriotism, maybe because I moved around a lot. Places are really not important to me, it's my family and a very small group of friends I care about
24. Hm what else I'm a girl I guess
25. I love talking about myself like everyone does which is why I made this post

OkAy bye

*I should seriously make that post sometime do

26. I don't know how to spell do so I just write it gangstaish

your older self approves of this post good job tap yourself on the shoulder

I just wanted you to know that lobster is a really weird word which makes me feel very uncomfortable so please don't use it in a conversation with me.
Although lobster is a weird word to be in a conversation anyways:
"So how's the weather today?"
"Well you know, pretty lobster"
"Oh Sally have you heard that lobsters are in right now?"
"I know I totally have to get one."
"Hey sorry I'm late there was trouble with a lobster..."
"Ugh those lobsters, stealing our jobs and leaving their garbage everywhere!"

post you make to apologize to your older self for your stupidity

Can you smell that? That's the future smell of regret and embarrassment that'll surround me when I read this blog in a year

a poem to ducks

why
are you so creepy
and smell weird
and don't have a beard
and are never yellow
but mellow
this is not a poem
because i don't like you
in your face hahaha


all ducks reading this be like:













me: ha ducks can't read


this is seriously getting weird i'd better stop

guysguysguys i got my hair cut also my life sucks right now and guess what it's a bit wavy and shorter in the back

i got my hair cut of it's like pretty short now i haven't had short hair for 9 years and it looks so cool hehehe narcissistic smile

what's weird is that there is some serious stuff going on in my life right now but i just don't seem to care. but getting a new haircut means the world to me. i really don't know why. maybe i'm trying to distract myself from the bad stuff so i find something ridiculous like my hair to think about i don't know


but seriously if you see me say something nice about my hair

please...?

i'm a teenager with self-esteem issues trying to cover up her insecurity with sarcasm

who said that don't listen to her

wow i guess i should visit a therapist some time

I'm gonna make a post in gangsta language also please appreciate the apostrophes it took me like three minutes to find them on this keyboard

YOOO WAZZUPPP MA HOMSTER HOW'S IT GOING I'M IN DA COMPUTER ROOM BLOGGING LIKE A BOSS WE HAD PE BEFORE AND THAT SUCKA OF A SPORT TEACHER MADE US DO GYMNASTICS ALSO I HAVE DAT WEIRD APPLE TASTE IN MA MOUTH LIKE WUT I DON'T EAT APPLES OR SHIT LIKE DAT CUZ I'M A GANGSTA AND GANGSTAS DON'T EAT HEALTHY STUFF SO GIMME BACK MA MILKY WAY BRO

yeah maybe I watched too many epic rap battles...