brussel sprouts

I feel like it is my duty to warn the entire world (or atleast the 3 people who visit my blog). a terrible, disgusting curse lies over this planet. a single group of living beings, threatening to end all our lives. brussel sprouts. they are proof of satans existence. brussel sprouts, the most despicable, repulsive thing this world has to offer, even worse than rebecca black. even worse than rebecca black. I know, some of you might have a hard time imagining such horror, but trust me. I've seen it, I've tasted it.I completely fail at describing my disgust. not even in the darkest nightmares anyone could imagine something like this. whoever you are, I beg you to follow my advice and to avoid any contact with brussel sprouts.

brussel sprouts in their brilliant disguise as innocent vegetables

a tribute to narwhals and their awesomeness

narwhals, narwhals
swimming in the ocean
causing a commotion
coz they are so awesome
narwhals, narwhals
swimming in the ocean
pretty big and pretty white
they beat a polar bear in a fight
like an underwater unicorn
they've got a kick-ass facial horn
they're the Jedi of the sea
they stop Cthulu eating ye
narwhals, they are narwhals
narwhals... just don't let them touch your balls

how to say fuck you in different languages (according to google translate)

german:
fick dich

serbian:
jebi se

french:
vas te faire encule

hmong:
fuck koj

yoruba:
fokii o

norwegian:
knulle deg

latin:
confutuere te

italian:
vaffanculo

clingon:
ptah teu

girl:
fine

teacher:
Well that was an interesting presentation

how to be in a good mood

step one:
watch any of the following youtube videos
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9wOuSyralQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRC4Vk6kisY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykwqXuMPsoc

step two:
prank call someone, for example a pizza service. here are some ideas for what to say:
ask them to put the pizza topping below
ask if you can rent a pizza
psychoanalize them
quote shakespeare
tell them all your worries (they make great agony aunts)

step three:
call a frined. your frined will be especially pleased if you call early in the morning or very late at night. their reactions are usually excellent entertainment.

step four:
listen to your favorite song

step five:
watch your favorite movie

step six:
talk to strangers on the road or pretend to interview them. have  imaginary cameras and microphones ready

step seven:
pretend to be a secret agent. shoot with bananaguns at people

step eight:
read calvin and hobbes comics

step nine:
learn how to insult people in rarely used languages, for example hmong, igbu, yoruba or zulu

step ten:
write a punny wikihow article about a topic you're not familiar with

step eleven:
think of all the poor, newborn souls out there whose parents are naming them Ludolf right now

guys I got braces and it hurts af this is propably gonna be a post about me complaining. au aua aua aua. also ppl be creeping over my shoulder and staring at what I type. Fuck off. Oh now she turned away and acts all offened hey it's not my fault you're a stalker. it's Christmas soon (yeah I'm good at stating the obvious) and I'm so glad the holidays are starting. Everyone here in T.C is just on Google translate making it say insults. sooooooo immature *hehehehe it's not like I'm on mylittlepony-fanpage.com*also my frined milena isn't here so I have no one to annoy. Imma try to blogg more often during the holidays to distract me from the tons of homework the teachers gave us #denialchamp
I think my brother knows I have this Blog because I forgot to delete my history and he had that amused, slightly arrogant smile. Fuck you Lukas. hctib ti pots niaga gnipeerc si ehs °
Also did you know that I have ask *shamelessly self-advertising*
http://ask.fm/louise013






°read this backwards

calvin and hobbes

Stages of a sleepover

So my friends and I had this cool sleepover because Marta visited Belgrade. I can only speak for girls but most our sleepovers follow this schedule:

The awkward phase
Where you greet the parents and stuff

Food

The anti-social phase
When everyone's on their phones

Music

Gossiping

Memories

Truth or dare
Which is pointless in our case because we already know everything about each other and no one chooses dare

The phase when everyone starts hitting on each other and makes perverted jokes

The weird phase
Where everyone makes bizarre noises then laughs hysterically

The highly philosophical phase
My personal favorite, when you just get really deep and shit (usually late at night)

The phase when you just sing random songs

The creepy phase
When someone tells a horror storie and everyone just freaks out and is scared as hell

The really creepy phase
When you realize your brother has been listening to you all the time

The phase when one person is trying to sleep and the other ones still talk and that one person gets all mad

Actual sleep